


Slices of Life

by Caseycuervo



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Drabble, Family, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Sex, story without plot but some porn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-16
Updated: 2013-11-16
Packaged: 2018-01-01 17:44:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1046710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caseycuervo/pseuds/Caseycuervo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based in the timeline as my fic "Happieness". Heero and Duo go through the motions of life, adjusting to parenthood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Talking

"Did you hear that?!" I ask Heero, my eyes bugging out of my head.

He grins. "I sure did."

"How are you happy about this?!"

"Because she's talking!" He cheers as he picks Mariko up from the floor in front of me. "Can you say it again Ko-Ko?"

I stare, gaping at him with my mouth open. "She said 'mama'! This is like a...a...a gay parents worst nightmare!"

"You're making too much of this, Duo. She just putting syllables together, she doesn't understand what she's saying," he tries to sooth me while bouncing Mariko on his knees.

Flopping on the couch next him, I groan. "I would feel insulted if I were you. Mama is close to Papa. Maybe she thinks you're her mother."

Ouch! He smacked me on the forehead. "I don't feel insulted because I'm not stupid like you-"

"Hey!"

"Can you say Papa, Mariko?" he coos out our little six month baby.

"Mama," she squeaks.

Heero shrugs, "Close enough." And I smack my hand over my eyes and whimper. Seriously?


	2. Ferberizing

The bed shifted as my lover tried to sneakily get out of bed. "Get back into bed, Heero," I warn groggily, half of my face buried in my pillow.

"I can't just let her -"

"We're feberizing her, Heero. Go back to sleep."

"I don't know you can stand to listen to her crying all night," he grumbles angrily, getting back under the sheets and purposefully jostling me.

"She's only been crying for five minutes. We can't coddle her every time she cries."

He tossed and turned for maybe, three minutes, before getting up again. Flipping on the lights, he grabbed his glasses off the night stand, put them on, and stalked around the bed to the door. I grabbed him by the waist and yanked him back.

"We have to let her cry herself to sleep, dammit!" I gruffed out as we wrestled on the bed.

He pried my arms off him - strong, bending steel bastard - and practically ran from the room. "Papa's coming, Mariko."

Growling in the back of my throat, I rolled my eyes as I listen to my disobedient husband coo our nine month old over the baby monitor. Since adopting her six months ago, Heero has been attached to her like glue. Makes sense since he is the one that's staying home with her. To think a guy like him could be so caring and nurturing, it warms my heart, really. But we need to get her sleeping through the night, and him running to her every time she cries isn't helping.

Stepping back in our room, with our child resting against his bare chest, he murmurs, "It's okay Ko-Ko."

"Put her back in her crib, Heero," I command.

He shakes his tousled head, "No I'm keeping her in here, and if you don't like it, you can go sleep in her crib." He returns to talking to our now sniffling infant, "Isn't that right Ko-Ko, Daddy can go sleep in there, can't he?"

"Do you have to call her Ko-Ko? Can't you call her Mari instead?"

He bounces her softly while walking to his side of the bed. "No, I like Ko-Ko better, and so does Mariko."

He kisses her softly on her head as he gingerly gets back into bed.

"I don't like her sleeping in here," I hiss. I love her, I do, but I toss and turn all night long, and I swear to god I'm going to roll over on her and smother her in her sleep. I don't want to kill our baby!

"You're not going to roll on her, Duo." We've had this argument before.

"You don't know that! If I kill her, you're to blame."

"You're not going to because I'm going to sleep on my back and she's going to sleep on my chest, okay?" He tries to sooth me.

"What if you roll over and suffocate her?" I argue, fumbling about in the sheets.

"I won't."

"How do yo-"

"I won't."

"Ugh!" I groan and flop onto my back. I'm not being unreasonable! Mariko needs to adjust to sleeping in her bed through the night, right?

I watch as Heero's hand rubs her back, as she struggles to keep her big violet eyes open. Yeah, eyes like mine. That's why we chose her. At the orphanage we went to, there had been a lot of newborns, and Heero found her and fell in love instantly.

"Her. We have to have her! She has your eyes, Duo!" I saw his face light up as he lifted her - then three months old - out of her bassinet, and I knew we had found our baby. Mariko is full Vietnamese, dark skin like Heero's, black soft hair, and violet eyes. I fell in love immediately too, and a week later she was ours to take home.

The soft bedroom light graces their skin, and I'm just freaking amazed by how fast she's fallen asleep on him. Scooting closer to the two greatest loves of my life, I place a hand over her little legs, and Heero grins at me.

"See, she's happier here with her Daddy and Papa," he mutters.

"I can see that, but we still need to get her to sleep through the night, babe," I whisper back.

Pulling the blanket up over the three of us, I listen as Heero says, "I just don't like this Ferber method. I hate listening to her cry, it feels like I'm self detonating all over again."

"Oh, it does not cause you physical pain!"

"Yes it does!" He argued quietly. "Now rest your head on my should, shut up, and go to sleep."

I grumbled in the back of my throat, but complied with his demand as he turns off the light. "I love you jerkwad."

"Love you too, assface."


	3. Scooting

Sometimes, I get a lil jealous that Heero's the one who stays at home and takes care of Mariko. We both still work for the Preventers, but what he does, he can do at home on his own laptop. That's the beauty of working in the computer diagnostics department. And I train newbies, without entering the field. Specifically, I train advanced individuals who show extreme potential for stealth skills and abilities. I love it, being able to share a gift I was born with is a lot of fun, but still, I feel like I miss out on stuff when I'm at HQ.

My cell phone vibrates, looking at it, I see its my one and only. "El-lo?"

"She's scooting!" His voices pitches in my ear.

I pull the phone away from my head for a brief second. Damn that was loud. "She's what?"

"Scooting! It's like crawling only she scoots on her butt!" He says excitedly. Awesome, a milestone I've missed. "I'm sending you video of it now."

Two seconds later my phone pings, I click the touch screen and a video of my daughter 'scooting' plays. Goddamn, it's cute. "That's so adorable. I wish I was there!"

"Me too, I'm just glad I had my phone near by."

A question rears in my head. Mariko was scooting on concrete. "Where are you guys?"

"In the garage," he states, which has been turned into an at home gym. "She likes to watch me pump iron."

I can't help but crack up. He can be so ridiculous without even knowing it.

"What's so funny?" He asks.

I chuckle out, "Nothing, you, just, I dunno, I love you. I'll be home soon."

"Okay, see you soon."

We say our goodbyes and hang up. An intense feeling of pride surges through me, knowing my daughter is moving on her own. But I still feel a little left out.

Later in the evening, I return home and Heero and I coax Mirako into scooting again. It's so damn cute and funny, I'm glad she's doing that instead of crawling. We eat dinner, I feed our little Vietnamese flower, burp and change her for bed. By the end of the night, Heero and I are sitting on the couch watching one of our favorite shows.

"What's wrong?" He asks, taking off his glasses - I fuckin love that he had to get those. I love that four eyed freak.

I shrug. "Nothing, why?"

"I know you Duo, no middle name, Maxwell hyphen Yuy, you've been bummed out about something. Spill."

Why does he have to know me so well? I shrug again, and he nudges me in the should and demands me to talk. "I guess, I just feel left out sometimes. You get to be here with Mariko while I'm at work for eight hours, five days out of the week."

His scary, deep blue eyes fill with concern as he asks, "Is this about the scooting?"

"Sort of. I mean, you were the one to notice her first tooth coming in, and I wasn't here when she started moving. I just feel like I'm gonna miss out on a lotta the important shit," I mope, honestly. "You get to be the parent she's around more and you're so calm and collected. It's like you know what to do, and I'm just here when I am."

He snorts at me. "Yeah you may miss some things, but if you ever want to switch, I'd be fine with that." But the way his voice changed and his tone heightened a little at the end of that statement tells me otherwise. I know he's enjoying being the home parent. "You were here when she startd talking. And I'm hardly cool and collected."

"Whadda you mean?"

"I freak out all the time!" He confesses. "I don't know what I'm doing. This isn't easy, and I don't call you each time because I don't want to make you worry with me."

I ask, "Who do you call?"

"Relena or Sally, sometimes Trowa, but he's got so many maids and nannies and who the fuck ever to help him while Quatre's at work," he explains. "Last week I almost went ballistic because Mariko's temperature with ninety-nine point six."

"Was she sick?" I ask concerned.

"No, but her usual temperature is ninety-eight point something."

A brief moment of silence falls between us before I ask, "Do you take her temperature everyday?"

He gives me a shameful look. "Twice."

I laugh. "You take her temperature twice a day?"

"Yes! And that's not all," he warns me in a teasing way. "Two days ago, there was a penny on the coffee table here," he points to the table I have my feet perched on. "I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, Ko-Ko was by the table and the penny was gone."

"What did you do?" I asked trying not to laugh since he's giving me a look.

"I searched the whole damn house for it. I couldn't find it anywhere!" He punched me in the arm as I couldn't contain my laughter. "I called Relena, she told me to relax. I called Sally, she told me to watch out for Mariko having constipation, but she's fine!"

"So you're just as unsure as I am?" I laughed, but the question is sincere.

He rolled his eyes. "So unsure. Raising a kid is not what I expected, missions were far easier. And the main reason I wanted to stay home with her is because, I don't trust anyone else to do it, except for you of course. If we were on our own that baby would be dead by now."

"That's not funny," I say, laughing.

Later that night, as we were in bed asleep, Mariko cried again as usual.

"Go check her diaper," my lover groaned.

"Alright, alright," I soothed.

I got up, went to her room across the hall, and sure enough she had a stinky diaper. While changing her, I noticed something shiny in her poop. Now I know it's gross, but I picked at it, and sure enough, there was a penny.

I had to stifle my laughter as I finished changing her. Cleaning my hand off on a baby wipe, I whispered in her ear, "We're not going to tell Papa about this, he'll freak the fuck out." And I placed her back in her crib, and rubbed her little back until she fell asleep.


	4. Long Days and Machetes

Thursday morning and I'm up and ready to get my ass to HQ in a miserable way.

"You going to work packing that much wood?" Heero asks from the bed noticing my current state of arousal.

"Yeah, don't have time to fuck and self-serving just doesn't cut it anymore. I'll be just as hard again in like two hours," I whine.

"Come here, I'll blow you," he offers, and oh, how I want it, our sex hasn't been as frequent since the baby came along, but I'm almost running late.

I groan, "It'll take too long."

"Not if you just fuck my throat while I lie here and take it," he taunts me huskily as he adjusts himself to lay with his head over the edge of the bed. God dammit. How am I suppose to refuse that?

I stalk over to him, undoing my pants as he grins at me, upside down. My pants and boxers pool around my ankles as he pulls me into his hot, sweet, yummy mouth. I gasp as we work in tandem to get him all the way down on my cock.

Thrusting into his mouth, I cant help but moan loudly as I jerk him off. He brushes my hands away from him and takes over, allowing me to focus purely on the sensation of fucking his mouth, my balls hitting his face with each shove, and the gruggling sounds that escape from him. I watch his hands stoked his cock faster and I feel his throat vibrate around my dick as he moans.

It's been too long, and not holding back I approach the edge quickly. I grunt out, "I'm close." As I plunge harder and faster. Gasping, I gape at him as he comes, shooting his load over his rippling abdomen. I follow seconds later and cum in the back of his mouth.

Stepping back, I pull my pants back up and wipe the sweat off my brow on the back of my hand. "God, I love you," I murmur, kiss him and run out of the house.

I come home Thursday evening to a loud house. Walking into the living room I find out why. Relena's over with her two boys, and Heero is...face down on the couch?

"What's wrong with him?" I ask, my voice slightly panicked with concerned.

"Oh, no no no no, don't touch him," she waves at me from the cushioned chair that matches our couch. "He had a rough day with Ko-Ko, so I came over to help. He's sleeping, I think."

Heero doesn't sleep through noise unless he's drunk, and this is a lotta racket. The TV is blaring, as her five year old and three year old fight over a toy truck.

"Nathaniel, Jason, knock it off!" She hisses.

I kneel next to the couch and run a hand through his dark brown hair. "What happened?"

"Oh," she waves her hand at me, "Ko-Ko was crying all day because she's teething and I guess he lost her in your bedroom for half an hour."

"Lost her?"

"Yeah, he told me he left her on your guys bed when he went to the bathroom, and when he came out she was gone. Oh, don't worry, he found her under the bed, she was just fine."

"How is he asleep right now?"

"I made him Disaronno with milk," she states, bouncing my daughter on her knee.

"How many did he have?"

"Oh, maybe three or four." Ah, so they were either very strong, or he's faking it.

"We'll Mariko looks fine to me," I say. She looks very happy being bounced about on the ex-Vice Foreign Ministers knee.

"She's an angel," she coos running a hand gently over her head. "I wish I had a little girl."

"You and Alexander could always try for one," I suggest.

She gives me a horror stricken look. "And possibly end up with another boy? No thank you!"

"They're not that bad!" Looking over to them, the brothers are still smacking each other and screaming. "Surely, not all the time," I add.

"They're monsters. I love them, but they're monsters." Just at that moment, Nathaniel, her five-year old, walks over to the coffee table and throws a fist full of sand in his mothers own Disaronno and milk beverage. She whimpers, "See what I mean?"

"Where the fuck did he get sand from?" I ask, flabbergasted.

"I don't know, I think he carries pockets full of the stuff," she whimpers again and looks close to tears. Obviously, she's had a rough day too.

Picking up her glass, I sooth, "Hey, hey, I'll go make you another drink and you just play with Mariko." She sniffles out an okay.

Coming back into the room, I make gestures at her sons, silently asking her if she wants me to do something about their fighting. She nods vehemently. "Hey!" I bellow, "You're mother asked you to stop, now cut it out." They immediately stop and stare at me in fear. Good, lil brats need a strong hand.

'Thank you' she mouths at me as I hand her her drink. While taking a few gulps, I snake Mariko from her.

"Hey honey, did you dwive Papa cwazy today? I think you did," I baby talk her and she giggles, her violet eyes filling with mirth.

Looking over my shoulder at my unmoved husband, I know I only have one irritating trick that will prove whether or not he's truly asleep. I mouth 'I'm sorry for this' at Relena, sit on Heero's butt, and fart on him. His left arm flies and hits me in the chest as I raise our child out of harms way.

Yup, he's faking it.

"What the fuck, Duo?!" He yells at me, glaring.

"Don't hit me when I have our baby in my arms," I scold him.

"Don't fart on me! That's disgusting!"

Relena rolls her eyes. "You're no better than my sons, and watch your swearing!"

I lift off Heero so he can sit normally on the couch. He's glaring daggers at me, but I don't care.

"Oh, my drivers calling, I should get going," Relena says.

She kisses us both goodbye on the check and gathers up her boys. We wave as she leaves.

Once alone, I turn my head to look at my baggy eyed husband. "Jesus, you look like you've been through the ringer."

Rubbing his eyes he admits, "Yeah, today sucked. And I think I added to Relena's stress."

"How so?"

He shrugs, "She made some comment about suicide, and one thing lead to an other, and I ended up telling her about how I almost did it." His eyes fill with sadness. "She got so upset that I never told her before, then she started crying, which made me cry a little because I've never seen her cry, and I was already unhinged -"

I hush him by pulling his shoulder and making him lean on me. "It's alright," I placate. "You don't need to be ashamed of it. A lot of people go there. I'm just glad I came back to stop you. If I hadn't, we wouldn't have this beautiful life we have now."

I rub his shoulder and thumb Mariko's chest with my other hand. We never told anyone about Heero's suicide attempt. We didn't go back to therapy, and , maybe we should have, but everything did get better between us after that.

His hand rubs my cheek as he whispers, "I know you still blame yourself for that, but I shouldn't have gone to that dark place. I should have known you'd come back."

I place my hand over his and squeeze, eyeing the ring on his finger, our oath to ever eternal love. I kiss the back of his hand and murmur, "I would have never forgiven myself if I had been a moment too late."

We sit in silence for a long while. Both of us roaming a hand over our daughter, as we reflect on our difficult past.

"You know, if you're having too much trouble with her," he tries to wave me off but I continue, " If you're having too much trouble with her, it's okay to ask for help. I know you, Heero Maxwell hyphen Yuy, you don't take 'failure' well, but this isn't an area that's going to have a one hundred percent success rate all the time. If you need help," I pull his head back to my shoulder, "ask for it. From me, from Relena, from who the hell ever, but you need to ask."

He sighs. "I know, I just...I just...I dunno, I want to be enough and just know what to do," he tenses against me. This is hard for him, I know. He's not the kind of person to seek help, but this a very new arena that we both aren't familiar with.

"You can always come to me," I whisper into the top of his head. "That's why we did this together, so we can support each other."

He lifts off from me, and reaches toward Mariko. I let him take her from my arms. "I know," he says quietly. "And I'm so happy we did this, I don't know why I was afraid to take on a child with you." I know why. Heero's a creature of habit, change never comes easy for him, but I can push him there. And look what happened, he's become the most caring teddy bear ever.

I watch as he folds 'Ko-Ko' - still don't like that nickname - into his arms as he rocks her gently. This is the Heero I've seen all along. The gentle, unsure, loving person beneath all that stoic bull crap. If I had to do it, I'd do pull him out of himself all over again. A million times over. He's changed so much from the reserved boy I met at fifteen.

When other people saw a weapon of war, I saw the person deprived of love. When everyone told me he couldn't, wouldn't change, I saw him transforming before my eyes. When he became scared of his emotions and pushed away, I pulled him back. Not a day goes by that I regret, even the bad days. We wouldn't be where we are now with out them. It's scary, how much I love him, how much I love Mariko. Sometimes I feel consumed by it and I just don't know what to do but hold them close.

We sit there together for a while, watching Mariko suck her thumb.

I ask teasingly, "So you really lost her for half an hour, huh?"

"Shut up. It was a nightmare. I just wish it had been any other room besides our bedroom," he divulges.

Quirking my head to the side, I ask, "Why? There's nothing in there that she can get into. All of your kinky shit is under lock and key, and so is the glock." His mouth twists into a half frown half smile thing, and he gives me the 'I'm sorry' eyes. "Right?"

"Yeah, all that's under lock and key..."

"And you were afraid of her finding, what?"

"Nothing," he lies in a squeaky voice. Fucker couldn't ever lie to me.

I deadpan, "You know how I always beat you at poker?"

"Yeah?"

"Because you can't lie or bluff me for shit? I know you're lying right now." I stand, pluck Mariko from his grasp and march up the stairs.

He calls after me. "Is it really lying if you always know?"

Entering our bedroom, I place the baby in the center of the bed and drop to the floor to peer underneath it. Heero comes in after me.

"There's nothing there," he says.

Sitting on my knees I huff, "Yeah, not anymore right? What was under here?"

He shrugs, "Nothing, just a small fire arm," he admits in a small voice.

"Heero!" I scold. "We agreed on the one gun. We don't need extra weapons! We are weapons!"

"Yeah, but it takes too long to get the glock out of a locked drawer! I told you that."

Standing up, I wave my arms around, "Do you have a semi automatic rifle hidden somewhere too?"

"Ppft, semi," he rolls his eyes at me as he leans against the doorframe.

I gape at him. "So you're saying there's a fully automatic weapon somewhere in this house?"

"Don't worry, she can't get to that one," he defends waving me off.

"Oh really, how so?"

Giving me a stern look he says, "Because she can't crawl up walls and into the ceiling."

"What's next Heero? Grenades ducked taped inside the toilet tank?"

He folds both his lips in, creating a line with his mouth and stares at the floor. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" I stalk into our bathroom and lift the tank lid, and sure enough, two explosives taped to it. "You're insane!" I accuse coming back into the room.

He folds his arms over his chest and glares at me. "I'm not insane. I'm prepared."

"Prepared for what? The next war? Is there rocket launchers here too?"

"No," he shuffles his feet. "There's a Javelin with missile lock in the garage though."

"Ahh," my eyebrows raise high. "That's in case there's an air strike in the skies above our house, right?" He glares at me. "Just why in the hell did you stock up on all of this?"

"When we first got Ko-Ko," he waves a hand in her direction, "I panicked a bit and had night terrors about someone kidnapping her. The guns and shit make me feel safe."

"Alright, I get that, but it isn't safe for her," I sigh. "I freaked out a bit too. I installed those cameras, you know, the ones the size of a pin head? In every freakin room."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I hadn't watched the footage because nothing bad had happened. If I had, I probably would have seen you loading the house with military issue weapons."

He sits on the bed, and fiddles with Mariko's little hand. "I'll get rid of them," he placates me in a sombre voice.

"Alright. Don't the cameras make you feel a little safer?"

He shrugs, "Yeah, can we get a dog to guard the house?"

I sit beside him and pull my braid over my shoulder. It's a pain when I sit on it. "Sure, what kinda dog?"

"Pitbull."

"No, those things are hideous. They're like wall to wall teeth and horribly vicious."

"Exactly."

"No pitbull. How about a Rottweiler?"

"Fine."

We let the dispute drop. Heero rids the house of all the weapons he's stock piled. And Jesus Christ on a Cracker! He hid a gun in like every fuckin room!

Making it through the rest of night with no further arguments, we fall asleep in our comfy fluffy bed. Pillow top, tis the shit.

I get an hour of sleep before Mariko's cries over the baby monitor wake me. Heero shifts and I mumble at him to not go to her. He lightly kicks me, letting me know he's displeased.

Static sounds over the baby monitor and then, "...shhh it's okay," says a male voice.

We both bolt up right, look at each other, fear painted on both of our faces.

"There's a man in Mariko's room!" I whisper panicked.

We both fly out of bed, and I attempt to unlock the drawer with glock in it, but my loose hair blocks my hysteric eyes. I hear, "It's go time." From Heero as he stomps out of our bedroom, wielding a machete.

"You've gotta be fuckin kidding me!" I mutter angrily and follow him.

Busting through the door at the same time, we find no one in the room. I run to the crib, and there's Mariko, sound asleep. I'm still scared so I pick her up, and turn to look at Heero for an answer.

He sighs, resting the big ass sword on his shoulder he murmurs, "We must have picked up on another baby monitor."

Ah, that makes sense, but I glare at him. "What's with the fucking machete? You said you got rid of all the weapons, Heero."

He glares back at me and grounds out through gritted teeth, "That was just about the guns and explosives! I told you that it would take too long to get a gun out of a locked drawer! The machete stays!"

Part of me wants to argue more, but I'm too relieved that no one broke into our home to steal our baby. Adjusting his glasses on his nose, my husband looses the heat behind his temper. "Bring her into our room. I want her close."

I agree, and the three of us return to our bedroom. Mariko lays between the two of us, and Heero and I stare at each other until we fall asleep, holding hands.


	5. Fantasies

Chest heaving, I attempt to even out my breathing and heart rate as I lay in the wet stop. Heero and I try to have sex every Friday night, and it was his turn to top this time 'round. He twirls a long strand of my loose hair around two fingers, completely sated.

"Do you have any fantasies?" I ask. It's not a question I haven't asked before, how else would we have gotten into some of the kinky shit we do.

"I think you know all of mine," he answers.

"Well, how about a fantasy we can't do. Do you have one of those?"

Looking at me, his eyebrow raises, "Do you?"

My shoulders shrug against the comforter. "Yeah, kinda."

"What is it?" He implores.

"You can't get mad."

"I won't."

"Okay, well you know how we've only ever been with each other?"

"...yeah."

"Sometimes I fantasize what it'd be like to be with a girl," I confess.

He looks uneasy for second before asking, "Is this something you really want?"

"God no!" I exclaim. "I love you! And I don't want anyone else. It's just something I think about, ya know? For the sexual aspect of it. I do find some women attractive."

Heero appears pleased by this answer. "I understand."

"So do you have any fantasizes like that?"

He nods.

"And they are..."

"Black guys," he answers nonchalantly.

What? "Black guys?" I parrot.

"Yeah, black guys. When I watch porn it's usually interracial stuff. I think black men are very attractive."

I stare at him quizzically.

"You weren't expecting that answer at all were you?" He chuckles.

I snort. "Was I expecting you to have a hidden fetish of jungle fever? No, but to each his own, right?"

"Yeah," he kisses me on the forehead. "Now go to sleep, Ko-Ko has been waking up at the crack of dawn lately, and you get to be the one to get up with her tomorrow."

"Fine," I sigh.


	6. Fighting

So tonight was suppose to be an awesome night out, we even got Relena to babysit, but somewhere along the line things turned to shit. We couldn't agree on one damn fucking thing and now were having a yelling match in the car, in our freaking driveway.

"Everything's a fucking joke to you!" Heero yells at me.

I holler back, "No it's not! You're just too goddamn stuck up to let loose and have any fun, you anal retentive jerk!"

"You can't take anything seriously!"

"You take everything seriously!"

He seethes, "Well maybe I wouldn't have to if I wasn't married to a grown man who acts like a damn child all the fucking time!"

Pointing a finger in his face, I whisper threateningly, "Don't you dare call me a child you-"

"Child! You behave like a fucking five-year old!" He smacks my hand away.

"At least I don't act like a know it all, pretentious, arrogant, smug, repressed son of a bitch!" I shout, shoving his shoulder.

He slaps my hand away again with both of his hands. "Don't fucking touch me! I've had enough of your crap for one shitty night, so don't, don't you dare touch me."

"Like I fucking want to at this point. Frigid asshole."

He gapes at me. "Oh, I'm frigid? Please, Duo, tell me how I'm fucking frigid."

"You never want to do anything anymore! Especially in the bedroom!"

"That's such bullshit and you know it! It's your fault too, I -"

"Oh really? It's my fault too? How?!"

"Shut your fucking fat mouth and listen for two fucking minutes! I was going to say, it's either you or me who's too damn tired to fuck, so don't blame it all on me, you conceited ass!"

"You know what I'm don-"

"Having a fucking baby means less time for shit we want to do! I guess you hadn't figured that out yet since you're absorbed in all your childish needs!"

"Fuck you!"

"Yeah fuck you too!"

He smacks me in the shoulder. We wrestle with our arms, pushing and smacking at each other until we've grabbed each others wrist to force a stop to this retarded fight.

Pulling away from each other, the silence heavy and thick around us, I tremble as I quietly say, "This is one of those times where we need to back the fuck up and just leave each other the hell alone."

Hastily unbuckling his seat belt, Heero jumps out the driver's side door. "Best idea you've had all night." And slams it shut.

I watch him disappear through our front door. Sitting in the passenger's seat, I'm not ready or willing to step into the house. I'm still fuming. What started this dumb fight? I don't know, like most of the time. Relena waves at me as she walks by, her expression of pity tells me she knows we've been arguing. Heero's not good at hiding strong emotions, particularly anger. I wait another fifteen minutes before exiting the car.

Walking in and up the stairs, I notice its dark and quiet. Good, Relena must have put Mariko to bed a while ago. I change quickly into grey sweat pants and leave my bedroom. Heero and I have a rule that we won't sleep in there when we're fighting. No anger or hostility in the bedroom. I opt for the couch, figuring my jerk of a husband has taken the spare slash guest bedroom upstairs.

Tossing and turning for about two hours, I can't fall asleep.

This is stupid, and I just want to be in my own bed, next to that jerky jerkface. Stealthily ascending the stairs, I make my way to the guest room, but he's not there. Only one other room where he could be. Opening Mariko's door, I find him, sitting in that ugly rocking chair that Sally gifted to us. The way he sits with his head resting against a closed fist, I can't tell if he's awake or not.

I walk over to him. "Hey," I whisper.

He replies, "Hey." Not asleep.

"I'm sorry."

"Me too," he apologizes.

I sigh, "I don't know what happened."

"Neither do I."

Shuffling my feet for a silent minute, I ask, "Can we go to bed now?"

He nods and follows me out of our daughters room and into our own. We lay quietly in the dark, exhausted from a spoiled evening.

If you know Heero, you'd know he doesn't like to be touched all that much, even more so when he's in a bad mood. But I know when it comes to me, it's the opposite. Usually after a fight like this I would wait for him to come to me, letting me know he's received the space he's needed, but tonight I think he needs me to go to him first. Laying on his side with his back to me, I place one hand on his shoulder, and that's all it takes. Rolling over quickly, he nestles his messy haired head on my shoulder, burying his face in the crook of my neck, wrapping one of those scary strong arms around me. I embrace him with both arms, squeeze tightly, close my eyes and breathe in the scent that is purely him.

I keep my tired eyes open until I know he's asleep, and then drift off comfortably.


	7. Finding Time

A weight settles over me as I lay on my stomach, sleeping. Hot breath tickles the nap of my neck. Peeking one eye open, the clock tells me it's four thirty-two in the morning. Heero presses his hips down and grinds against my backside. Groaning, I can feel exactly what he wants, and since we didn't have our make up sex after that stupid fight last night, now will do.

Lifting my hips off the mattress, I grind back into him. His rigid cock presses against my hole through my pajama bottoms.

"Don't tease me," I plead breathily.

Pulling my flannel pants down with a fast tug, he whispers in my ear, "Need prep?"

"No," I respond, and pass him the lube from under my pillow.

Hearing the snap of the cap gets my blood pulsing a little faster. I gasp as I feel the head of his cock push into me. He lets out a rugged moan as he slips in the rest of the way. Rolling his hips softly, he sucks and bits on the juncture of my neck and shoulder. I try to push back against him again, but he presses down on the small of my back, keeping me flat on the mattress, as he starts to pump himself more feverishly inside me. Angling his pelvis that way, his dick grazes my prostate with more pressure.

I whimper, "More."

Heero pauses for a moment, pulling me backwards by my hips, arranging me on my hands and knees. Snapping his hips more vigorously, he fucks me harder.

"Touch me," I beg.

His fingers weave through my hair, scratching my scalp. With a playful tug, he grunts, "No."

A keening whine sounds in the back of my throat. I reach between my legs to give my neglected cock some attention. That hand that was buried in my hair grabs me by the elbow before I can touch myself. Heero latches on to my other arm, pulling my wrists together and clutching them in one of his strong hands behind my back. My face presses into the sheets as he pounds into me. Fuck, this is torture.

He grunts as hot cum fills my passage. Continuing to thrust shallowly, I beg him to finish me off with pathetic whimpers and moans, but he does nothing.

"Heero," I whine.

"Hhmmm?" He teases, still rolling his hips against my ass, cock softening inside me.

"Pleeease."

"Please what?" I can hear that smug smile on his mouth. I whine again. "Tell me what you want, Duo."

"Let me come."

Pulling out, he flips me onto my back. Crouching over me, his mouth clamps onto my collarbone. His hot mouth descends the length of my torso, nipping my right nipple, tonguing the center crease of my abdomen. Soft lips wrap around the head of my cock. I try to push his head down, but he grabs my wrists and holds them down on the bed. His mouth makes a vacuum around my tip, as his tongue rolls and folds over the slit. Wrapping my left leg around his back, I thrust upward into his mouth. He gags a little, but lets me continue to fuck his mouth.

"Look at me," I order. His blue eyes bore into mine, a dark twinkle in those Prussian depths. Thrusting harder, his hands grip my wrist almost painfully. It doesn't take long for me to be teetering on the edge. Flexing my leg around him, I keep Heero pinned as I make a final shove and come in the back of his throat. I instantly go limp, freeing him. Climbing over me, he devours my mouth in hungry kiss. I love it when I can taste myself on him.

Falling on the bed beside me, he sighs happily. "We need to find more time for this," he mumbles, half asleep already.

"Yeah we do," I mumble back, snuggling back under the covers.


	8. Pets and Profanity

Tuesday evening and I walk up to my front door, but before I can turn the knob I hear the angry growl of an animal. What the?

And then barking rings from our backyard fence. Ah, so Heero got that dog we were talking about. It better not be a pit bull. Back when I lived on L2, about eight years old or so, I got chased by one of those demon dogs, and I thought it would eat me if I fell. Safe to say, I don't want one of them.

Pushing open the door and walking into the house I find Mariko in her high chair eating mooshed carrots that are spread over her face, and Heero by the stove cooking spaghetti.

"I got the dog," he tells me.

Yeah, obviously. "What kinda dog?"

"Rottweiler, just like you suggested."

Awwwwwww! There's something about that kind of dog that melts my inner core. "Is it nice?"

"Yeah, she's nice. I got her from the Preventers impound. Her name's Rosie."

Heero opens the back patio door and the giant beast runs inside, paws scampering on the hardwood floor. She makes a lunge at me, but Heero grips her by a red collar and holds her back.

The Preventers use a plethora of different kinds of dogs for different types of usage, and once they've 'grown out' of their use, they put them up for adoption. Unfortunately, most people want puppies and not full-grown dogs. Sadly, a lot of them get put down.

He leads Rosie over to me, speaking to her in German, he tells her I'm okay. "Greifen Sie nicht dies ist ein Freund." The dogs angry scowl soothes, and her tongue dangles from her mouth, giving her a smile. My husband releases the collar and the dog roams around me, sniffing and licking at my hands.

After she comforts herself with my scent and presences, I kneel down to scratch at her cheeks and behind her ears. "Who's a good puppy? You are!" She barks in response and licks my face. God, how I've always wanted a dog! Rosie's perfect!

"She came with a catch," Heero warns me. His tone tells me I'm probably not going to like what I'm about to hear. "Rosie's got a buddy."

"So?" I ask.

"Look in the living room," he tells me.

Walking the short distance to the room, I find a small fluffy orange thing laying on our couch cushions.

"You know I don't like cats!" I accuse marching back into the kitchen.

He shrugs. "I know, but she's been mothering the cat since it was a kitten. They're a package deal."

"Surely we can get rid of it!" I exclaim, but at that same moment Rosie roams into the livingroom and licks the slumbering cats fur. Felines have never liked me, I don't know what it is about me, but they fucking hate me.

"Nope," Heero responds, back turned to me as he stirs the tomato sauce. "Bo is a nice cat. I like him. You'll just have to learn to like him too."

Fine. I'll give the cat a try.

Walking over to the little critter, I extend my hand to pet its head. Before I can make contact, its yellow eyes open and he hisses at me. Fuckin' knew it. Rosie calms the kitty by licking at it like he's her puppy.

I walk back into the kitchen and find Heero trying to hide a smirk, unsuccessfully.

"Bo's nice to me," he explains, "And Ko-Ko."

"Please stop calling her that," I whine again for the umpteenth million time.

He ignores me. "You're just going to have to deal with a cat in the house." I want to rebut, but before I can he insinuates, "And if you throw it out of the house, I will toss you out to find him."

"That's fucking stupid," I argue.

"Stop that!" He glares at me.

Raising my hands, I ask, "Stop what?"

"The swearing! Mariko is eleven months old and her brain is like a sponge. I will not have one of her first word be a profanity."

"She already said 'Mama'."

"She hasn't said it in months and if her first real words are anything close to F-word, A-hole, or Jack-A, I will shoot you in the head."

"Well there's a threat I'm totally scared of," I respond sarcastically.

He waves a spatula in my direction. "I'm serious, Duo. We've been cursing too much in front of her and we've gotta stop. It's both you and me, and I've been trying to stop so I need you to try as well."

I raise my hands defensively. He's right, we talk like pirates, and I know he only started swearing to imitate me. I've always had a rancid mouth. "Okay, okay. I'll work on it."

My blue-eyed counterpart is smart enough to know nothing changes over night, but I'll surely change that at his request. And he's right. I don't want our daughter first conscious word to resemble my fowl mouth.

Tonight, Heero's going to hang out with Quatre to watch some meteor shower. I don't find that sort of activity all that exciting, so Imma stay home with my baby and do, I don't know, Daddy stuff?

"Alright, I'll be home by eleven, eleven thirty," Heero informs me.

"Okie doke, babe. Enjoy watching comet geek falling through the nerdy-way," I tease.

He holds up three fingers, silently telling me to 'Read between the lines.' I laugh at him.

While cooking dinner for myself, I stub my toe against the sharp bottom edge of the counter and scream, "SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!" My lame attempt to not swear makes my little Vietnamese flower crack up in an adorable high-pitched giggle fest. I can't help but grin in pain as I hop on one foot. The peas smeared around her mouth just make it all the more laughable.

The rest of the evening goes smoothly, and I bathe Mariko in the sink. She loves sink baths. I'm glad she's not one of those kids who scream during bath time, she's a little water baby, loves to splash about. When I change her into a little purple one's-ee for bedtime, that damn orange cat attacks my left leg. His claws sink in through my sweat pant,s and he his teeth bite at my leg.

"FUCK YOU CAT!" I yell and kick it off my leg. Bo goes running from the room, and I hear Mariko giggle again.

With my back still turned, I shake my head at the door. And then I hear something that makes my stomach plummet to the floor. "Fuck!" is squeaked from my daughters mouth.

I spin on my heel and my wide eyes and panicked face makes her giggle again.

"No, no, no, nonononononono. Don't say that," I beg, and she continues to laugh. "Duck!" I exclaim, "Say Duck!"

"Fuck!"

Oh no. That was clearly an "F" and not a "D". Oh my god, oh my god, ohmygod! Heero's gonna kill me!

I spend god know's how long trying to get Mariko to say "duck", or "truck", or "muck", or "yuck", or "puck" or any other word that ends in u-c-k that isn't fuck, but nothing works.

We must have been in her room for a very long time, because eventually Heero get's home and we usually put Mariko to bed around nine.

"Why is she still awake?" he asks from behind me.

"Uhhhhh..."

"Fuck Poppy!" Mariko chimes in. She's been calling him 'Poppy'.

His blue eyes widen for a brief moment before he glares daggers at me. "What. Did. She. Say?"

"TRUCK! She said truck!"

"It didn't sound like -"

"Fuck! Dada, Poppy! Fuck!"

He stomps past me while mumbling, "Murder. I am going to flippin' murder you."

I was hoping for some sexy time tonight, but that's so not going to happen now...


	9. Chapter 9

Sitting on an uncomfortable metal bench and glaring out past the bars at my arresting officer, I seeth a raging fury. Asshole had the audacity to put fuckin' cuffs on me and throw me in the backseat like a common criminal. 'Why didn't you tell him you're a Preventer Agent, Duo?' That's a great question, and I did tell him. Fucker didn't give a fuck. Obviously, I used my one phone call to get a hold of Heero...I don't know how he's going to react to this. He's still been miffed at me for the whole "Fuck" incident that happened a few days ago. Though he didn't sound mad, something tells me I'm in for a big, long lecture.

Heero is led in and over to my cell. I let my eyes fall to the ground, disappointed in myself. All the other drunk people in here are far me intoxicated than I am. I'm not even drunk at all now. And I wasn't when I was pulled over!

"Could you give us a moment?" Heero asks the officer who was about to unlock the cage and let me out. He nods and walks away.

I stare at him from the bench and ask, "You gonna leave me in here over night?"

His blue eyes roam over the cell and the other drunk people while he switches Mariko from hip to the other. "This seems oddly familiar..."

I push myself up and walk to the door, slink my arms through the bars and rest my forehead against them. "How in the hel-heck is this familiar?"

"You. Captured. Locked up. Me. To the rescue." He smirks at me.

"Yeah well, this time you don't have a gun pointed at my head."

"Ko-Ko, do we have a gun?" he asks our daughter. She nods and points a green squirt gun at me.

"Oh you've gotta be kiddin' me," I groan and roll my eyes.

Heero grins widely. "What do you think Ko-Ko? Should we save or shoot Daddy?"

Her little fingers squeeze the trigger and water sprays against my shirt. Laughter falls from his mouth as he takes a step forward. "Well, looks like she's not as not as forgiving as me."

"Just get me outta here, please," I whine.

The officer comes back over, opens the cage, and I walk out. Gah, freedom. I follow behind Heero, waiting for the lecture to start, but each time he looks over his shoulder at me, he's smirking.

"Are you mad?" I question.

"Did you hurt anybody?"

"No."

"Did you hurt yourself?"

"No."

"Is there any damage to our car?"

"No."

"Then I see no reason to be upset. You made a dumb mistake, it happens."

"That's not what happened!" I defend as we climb into our SUV, Heero buckling Mariko into the car seat in the back. He climbs in behind the wheel, and gives me a look, expecting some elaboration. "I had three beers with Trowa. Three! When I left the parking lot, that ass- that jerk of a cop followed me. He followed me for two miles and pulled me over. I wasn't swerving. I wasn't speeding. He pulled me over and made do the breathalyzer test and I was barely over the legal limit, so he arrested me."

"Wow, that's ridiculous."

"I know! Une is gonna flip on me when she finds out. Can we go home now? I'm in a shi - bad mood. Just wanna go to sleep."

We drove home in silence, which I was grateful for. I wanted to forget this night and have the week fall back into an easy, regular rhythm. We get to house, put Mariko down for bed, and resided back to our own room. Disrobing quickly, I plopped down on the bed, and pulled the comforter up over myself in effort to fall asleep as quickly as possible.

Heero, on the other hand, took his sweet time getting to bed and left all the lights on. I listen as he goes through his nightly routine. His soft footfalls walking to and fro through our room keep me up. If I'm to be real with myself, it's not him. I'm too pissed off to sleep, but he's certainly not helping any.

"You wanna do something tonight?" He asks me.

"No," I curtly reply. "Too tired."

"Too tired or too pissed off?"

Goddamn, stop knowing me know so friggin' well oh loving husband of mine. "Pissed."

"I can cheer you up if you like," he offers.

"Oh, really?" I throw the blanket off and sit up right. He's working on unbuttoning his shirt. "And how would you do that?"

Those pretty blues roll to the ceiling and he cracks his neck - an obvious sign of discomfort for him. "I'll do the thing that I hate most."

For a moment, I'm confused before it clicks. "Dance for me?" I ask snarkily.

"Yeah," he partially groans.

A huge grin spreads across my face. "That might work," I agree. The look of despair that crosses his face briefly is almost comical. He hates dancing for me even though he's great at it. Usually I have to get him drunk to do it.

Heero whines, "I curse that mission we had in Vegas."

"Ooo-ho-ho, you do, but sure don't." Out of all the few missions we had in the field, that was by far the fucking best. It happened before we were married. We went undercover. I was a client, and Heero had to go under as a Chip and Dale's dancer because - as much as he hates it - he's got the moves. It all comes so natural and fluid for him, it's like he was made for it. Regardless, watching him dance on stage, surrounded by a dozen other well-built men was a wet dream come to life for me. "Get started you sexy beast," I order and flick my wrist at him.

"Stop it. I'm trying to cheer you up, and the idea of this getting you so antsy is making me nervous," he complains.

"Babe, you have nothing to be nervous about," I respond with a wink.

"Dear God, what I have gotten myself into?" He asks sarcastically and drops his slacks. Howdy-hey, he's already wearing my favorite briefs. Short, tight, spandex. Fucking yum! Bright blue with a black waistband, and the best part, they're black mesh on the side with snap buttons, so you can rip them right the fuck off! Okay, maybe that's the second best, the fact that he's blushing already is pretty damn good. He looks like that shy kid I met at fifteen. "Alright, alright. I'm even going to do this to your 'favorite' song."

Oh mother may I, the pot just keeps getting sweeter. He turns on the MP3 device that's set on the home-player-system. The music starts low - obviously the music isn't loud, we got a baby sleeping in the next room - soft R&B, and then the lyrics, "Now, um, usually, I don't do this but, uh...Go head' on and break em off wit a lil' preview of the remix..." (1)

As soon as the music starts, he begins to move, slowly and easily. The beat drops and the song goes into sway. Heero rests his hands behind him on the desk and drops down to circle his hips. He moves in a way that seems to be a practiced routine, but I know it's just him free-styling, which makes it all the more sexy knowing he's just got this way with his body. 

"Mama, rollin' that body, got every man in here wishin'." And he leans back and rolls his hips more dramatically.

Halfway through the song and all his apprehensions are gone, growing into confidence. By which time I've scooted my ass to the edge of the bed to be as close to him as possible. Coming closer, he stretches those long tan legs to straddle my lap. I hook my fingers into the back of his briefs, palms cupping his ass. He grinds down against my lap, playfully torturing my hard cock underneath my boxers. I slink my fingers to the sides of his waist and pull. Snap, snap, snap, snap, aannnndd snap goes each five buttons on the either side of his underwear, and I pull it out from under him so he's just completely naked on my lap. We both fall into a fit of laughter as I wrap one arm around his back and pull him down to lay on top of me.

This, this is exactly why we work. We can fight, do shit we don't want to do for each other, and end up laughing. The circumstances don't matter, what matters is that we can get ourselves into any kind of jam, any kind of disagreement, any kind of turmoil, and come out finding middle ground or better yet, just end it all with laughter. After all this time, I think the laughter is more important than the sex. Don't get me wrong, sex is always significant in any relationship, but after that laughter is just as momentous a factor. Honesty, trust, communication, and yeah, laughter. Get a mind-blowing sex life with someone, couple that with trust and the ability to talk through the bullshit drama and still laugh at the end of the day, and you've got it made, found your soul mate. In fact, I knew Heero was mine way before he felt comfortable to laugh out loud and around others. But that doesn't matter. He's mine, always knew he would be, and always will be.

Still laughing, he kisses up my neck, along my jaw, and clamps his giggling lips against mine. I hiss out a laugh as he basically kisses my pearly teeth. Gripping my bottom lip between his teeth, he tugs. Oh, he knows how I'll take an inch of rough foreplay and go a mile. I roll us over so I'm on top of him and we work in tandem to get my boxers off; me with my hands and him with his feet. Flesh to flesh, no more music, the room echoes our soft "uhm's" and "ahh's" as we grind, grope, bite, and scratch each other. The temperature around us raises.

Now we switch off bottom and top shit pretty regularly, and I was semi last time, but...Imma milk this "woe is me and they shitty night I've had" thing to get inside of him.

We thrust our hips together and frot(2) until the foreplay gets too much.

"Fuck me," he whispers huskily in my ear, and tongues my lob.

So much for persuasion. "Your wish is always my command."

"Well, Mr. Genie," he breathes heavily, "My first wish is to lube up that fat cock of yours and shove it in me."

I do as he requests and taunt along the way, "I think that counts as two wishes. What will be your third?"

He laughs against my breast-plate, takes a nipple between his lips and teeths it. "Well then," he pauses to circle his pink tongue over my abused areola, "My third wish is for you to pound me until completion."

"Yours or mine?"

"Pft, mine of course! But if you like, you can find yours too."

"Oh Master, I will."

"Good," he whimpers as I push into his passage. The great thing about repetitive anal sex is that stretching isn't always a need-be, and he wouldn't let me go head without it if he needed it. Heero latches his thin ankles behind my upper back, pulls down, and forces me into him faster. He arches his back off the bed, and moans against my mouth in appreciation. Attempting to start off gentle - always gotta be somewhat careful, fissures suck - I thrust shallowly even though I'm already in at the base. His ankles raise higher to rest against the back of my shoulder blades, and I'll never be unshocked by his limberness. My adoring husband pulls his legs down on back, bucks his hips up, and moans into my open mouth. That subtle sign gives me the go ahead to fuck him as roughly as I want at my leisure. I realize that this is all for me, and I of course grateful for it, but if he's up for me using him to my disposer than I'm going to take advantage of it, and give all he needs in return.

I think of all the shit that has happened today and put it work through my hips. We gasp against each others lips heatedly, his arms embraced around my neck, mine on either side of the matress by his shoulders. The sweat slickens our bodies, makes each movement more fluid and raunchy with skin contact making audible sounds between us.

Our faces part briefly and I see that dark need shining in the depths of his blue eyes. A light of dark desire. There's few things that ominous sex-fueled glare could mean, and I'm pretty damn sure I know just what he's silently asking for.

Temporarily, I slow my pounding rhythm, clutch his slender neck in both hands, and squeeze.

"This what you want?" I growl, hovering over his face.

Without words he nods, I tighten my hold, and fuck him the way he wants to be fucked. I rest all my upper body weight on my hands around his esophagus and go hard on him for all I'm worth. It's a few long minutes before he snaps his fingers - the signal to breath, and I let go. His gasp for air is harsh, and the red pigment falls from his face and returns to his usual pallor, eyes stuck in the back of his skull.

We repeat the process and he doesn't let me touch jerk his dick until the headboard is bang, banging hard against the wall. Well hell, if Mariko hasn't woken up by now - and we typically go at it sideways on the bed to avoid wakening her - than she's not going to stir.

I release his airway for the forth time, and I pant, "I'm close."

"Good, come. Come for me," he begs. That desperate tone sends me over the edge, and I bunch up in a tense pulsating movement. I spill all I have inside him, and just when I'm done, he rolls us again so he's on top, pulls himself off my cock so quick I know it couldn't have been that comfortable, moves to hover over my chest, jerks himself off until he hastily spreads his load on my neck, face, and hair. Heero maybe more of a cum whore than me, but I'll take his load wherever and wherever he wants to give it. I open my mouth and decent portion falls between my lips, lands hotly on my tongue, and I ingest it all.

He trembles and twitches above me. "So-sorry, I d-didn't give you any notice. To-too lost in the moment."

"Mmmm," I moan, "Don' worry 'bout it." Using my right index finger, I pull the traces of seed from face to my mouth and lick it clean. "A delicious way to end a crappy night." I wink at him and he grins down on at me.

He falls from chest to land with a heavy flop to his side of the bed.

Turning off the lights, we're quiet for a few moments, breathing heavily.

Grasping my face between his hands he murmurs, "You do know that I'm really not mad about tonight, right?"

"Hell yeah," I exhort. "If you were mad, you wouldn't have danced for me. That's a privilege I have to yank out of you at the best of times."

His tan cheeks flare up with a hint of red under the pale blue light of moon snaking through shrades of blinds as he admits, "Yeah, well...I thought you might like that kind of 'pick-me-up' since you were so clearly bummed out."

"I was afraid you'd be upset with me. Disappointed even."

"I can't even think of way you'd disappoint me. And I'll admit, when I got that call from county jail, I was mad...but, like I said, shit happens. And I'm not going to hold something so meaningless over your head."

"A DUI is meaningless?"

"In your case, yes. I know you would never get wasted and drive home. BUT, in the past, before we decided to have a family, you AND I were both reckless. If I ever lost you to something as simple as a car accident then I don't know if I could forgive you."

His warm, post-orgasmic, blue eyes soften and I know his declaration is true.

I run my hand through his dark, sweat ridden hair and yank softly. "You know I wouldn't have been able to forgive you if you'd decided to work exclusively in the field."

He nods against the sheets, knowing well that was something we never wanted for each other.

We stare at each other smiling, until his smile falters and I see that unfounded fear rise. I can even feel his body tense, his temperature rise against my palm that lays buried in his hair. He looks down at the sheets, and all I can see are thin slivers of his eyes.

"I don't know what I'd do without out," he whispers. "I mean, you don't have to worry about me offing myself. I'd live on for Mariko, but besides that...I don't know how I'd go on without you."

This is a talk we've had before. This is a moment we've had before. Every goddamn time I see him close to tears the flood gates for me open up and pour out.

"I'm here," I remind him, a hot tear rolls down my face falling sideways. "I'm always going to be here. For as long as I can."

He clutches my hand that rests against his cheek, and whispers, "I know."

And with that, it's going to be one of those nights. A night full of crap, insecurities over come, delicious sex, and acknowledgement of our worst fear - living on without each other.

That could be a weakness - WOULD be if our identity as Gundam pilots were ever revealed. The "mysterious Gundam pilots" are praised as saviors of the world, but if we were exposed, we'd be tried, jailed, and sentenced for our own war crimes. And if not, there would be plenty of our former enemies seeking blood. One way or another, we'd die. We have a plan for that. We have plan for every catastrophe. It's in our nature to have a back up. Though by far, the most difficult discussion has been on the topic of "If-one-of-us-dies". Before we had Mariko the conversation was pretty much the same no matter which way we approached it. Me always, "I don't know what I would do," because I don't. I just can't see him passing on before me, and I have no idea what I would do in my grief if that happened. For him it's consistently been, "I'll just put a bullet in my head." That was the case...until our daughter came along. If some freak accident takes me long before him, I want him to have hope and a reason to go on. I think that's why I want four kids, plenty of life to keep him marching on without me. Course, he wishes to be "reasonable" and have two at most. Maybe, in the long run, that's what we will do. I don't - can't - want to be his only reason for living. But at the same time, I don't know if I could handle being an only parent. Every scenario ends in a "but" factor...I think that's what scares me most. You don't hear about a lot of people finding that one singular soul that they love to no end, and one of them dies and the other just moves on happily without out them. They don't seem to go on. I know deep down that Heero and I are those kind of souls.

Through the messed up childhood, through the tortured upbringing, through the wars the ripped the universe apart, through the trillions of people, we found each other. We are made for each other. That convoluted notion of time and space brought us together and for the life of me, I couldn't imagine another better half to myself.

This, this and everything else, is why we're together. Created for one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Song Heero dances to, my favorite R Kelly song, "Ignition".
> 
> 2\. Frot, or more commonly known as Frottage, is an outer stimulation of rubbing the gentials together, much like dry humping. It's been noted for being just as stimulating as sexual intercourse.

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter inspired by 'Modern Family'.


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